Camp Song Challenge!
by HorribleTrash
Summary: For the price of the Camp Camp, the Camp Campbell Campers have to face the Wood Scouts in a sing off. Essentially, they're screwed. David can't help, the only person that knows how to play a string instrument is Harrison who knows how to play the piano, and they feel like they're screwed. Aka Max playes the violin in a sing off for the sake of the camp. (Oneshot)


"And if I win, the Camp Campbell Campers are mine, and so is the property. If you win, you can have... some of our land."

"Deal!"

"Oh dear god my anxiety is coming back." Gwen muttered.

"The subject will be pulled out of the hat! The rules are, no cheating and no help from the Councilers. Let's get to it!" David said, drawing a piece of paper. "And the topic is... oh no."

"What is it?"

"Camp songs."

"Holy fuck, I'm going to go and watch the last remains of my trash TV in peace." Gwen muttered, walking away.

Edward Pikeman picked up a guitar, giving it a strum. "Pick your instrument!"

"DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW ANY INSTRUMENT?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"AHHHH!!!"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE A WOOD SCOUT!"

"SOMEONE SAVE US!"

"Calm down kids!" David said. "Raise your hands if you can sing a camp song!"

Nikki's hand shot up, and around half the camp raised their hand.

"And who can play a string instrument?"

"I can play the piano?" Harrison said.

"Oh dear..."

"You have one minute to decide! If you don't decide, you forfeit immediately!"

"OH GOD WE'RE FUCKED!"

"AHHHH!"

"NOOOO! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

"I think it iz alright! Und maybe we-"

"SHUT UP DOLF!"

"WE'RE GOING TO LOOSE!"

"FUCK YOU CAMPBELL!"

"Now kids, that's no way to talk to-"

"Ten!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"Nine!"

"I JUST WANTED CAMP CAMP!"

"Eight!"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!"

"Seven!"

vomiting*

"Six!"

"This is, like, totes uncool."

"Five!"

"I guess our fate is sealed..."

"Four!"

"Avada cadabra! I dissapear!"

"Three!"

"IT DIDN'T WORK!"

"Two!"

"Goodbye, cruel world..."

"One!"

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!" Max yelled grabbing a violin. "Happy now?"

"Max, you know how to-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Max yelled at David, pointing the bow at him. Nikki snickered. "I swear I will smash you on the head with this when this is over."

"Alright! Begin!"

"You go first, amateur."

"Ladies first."

There was a quick guitar strum.

"This battle is sure to go our side, I doubt you could go turn the tide."

"That quickly escalated."

"Well you'll shut your mouth, when things go south, in the Wood Scout's favour! We get straight to the point, like it or not, we give you time to flex your joints, but you're gonna fail. I hope this works out just fine for me, for you, for those two.

We send you words of apology, we ace the worlds of technology, the outdoors, indoors we all rule, I think you know we're cooler than you! We handle ourselves just fine, unlike you, unlike you, unlike you all too, I don't even think you can play the violin, so step down and go back to your home, the bin!"

Max rolled his eyes. "I can't believe I'm doing this but..."

aggressive violin playing*

"I hope you haven't forgotten what happened last time this finished, you lost, we won, bathing in victory, now let me tell you one thing so that we can get this straight, there is no rule on what I can sing. I can sing you a song just as aggressively, or I can sing you a song that breaks your mind for eternity. This song isn't my style, I can tell you that for one, but I will let you know that I'll make you run for miles."

"You haven't even started on working against me!"

"Shut up and let me finish, officer wannabe! Look at you, you're covered in pimples and acne, and look, you let people talk shit about you! What kind of authority does that, your dreams will go to waste, you'll end up flipping burgers in a stupid fast food place. You've flirted with a girl that's over twice your age, I think that's pretty telling that you won't win this race. Run out of ideas? You're gaping like a fish! Let me tell you I still haven't served my last dish."

"That was mean, that was cruel, that just pushed me off my stool, I have fallen to the ground but I will get back up! You're inconsiderate and mean, you use me to blow off steam, for heavens sake, we all know that your camp can't shut your mouth. You see, we have a special team with diligence and honour, a variety of people with different strengths and colours, and I want you to remind you that you sleep with a teddy bear!"

"I rip its head off so that I don't rip of yours, and kindness only gets you so far, intelligence gets you further, let me remind you that three quarters of your verse went to waste. Oh, and for your 'diversity and strength' you just said that to an Indian! You can't make things political, have you looked around this camp? It's literally a Camp Camp, that's how diverse we are. The main character of the story is a person of colour, his friends are all white, and we also have a councillor of colour, who left, because you're a perverted freak. You idiot, I'm the main character of this story, did you not know that? You're just the weird ass, perverted David wannabe."

"Aww."

"SHUT YOUR SHIT! THAT'S AN INSULT! You see, we aren't controlled by any one or two individuals, unlike you two, what do you have in store? Why do you think your numbers are dropping, it's because your so weak, obviously no body likes you. Why do you think you were even sent to the camp? Your parents don't love you, or you were dragged into it and brainwashed. Get with the times, acne-face, or you'll end up in the dust. I'm not even rhyming at this point in time, but you can tell that I'm winning because of all the people cheering! The funny thing is, you're weak and back down, let me prove that to you, right now. You've given me time to prepare my song while you were there, you gave me time to cut in, and made me fight back, you only cut in once, but that only lasted a second, and I see you struggling to find a space to fit in. You could've slipped in just then, you smart ass bitch, but let me talk for everyone where I say that you're the ugliest one here. Weakest, pathetic, you rely on these two to keep you standing above the rest. We're individuals, broken free of our chains, our camp taught us how to do everything! What has your camp taught? That you're above all the rest? Now go sit down and swallow your own disappointment. You're sitting down and crying, backing down from a challenge, I told you what would happen!"

"Alright, he's got nothing to say! I won!" Max yelled.

"I still can't believe you can play the violin, Max! Where did you learn it?" David asked.

"Shut the FUCK UP!" Max yelled, slamming it into David's face. He screamed as the violin broke across his head. Nikki burst out laughing. Max slapped her in the face with the bow.

"So, what do we win?"

"One square metre of the Wood Scout's land!"

Max dropped the remains of the broken violin. "You're telling me that I had to improvise a song on the violin, an instrument no one else here can play and I haven't played in over a year..."

"Yes..."

"For ONE SQUARE METRE OF LAND! ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE?! I CAN'T FUCKING SING! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING RUSTY I AM?! YOU ALL ARE LUCKY I REMEMBERED HOW TO PLAY A FEW NOTES ON REPEAT!"

"Yep!"

"Oh my FUCKING god!"


End file.
